Society Propriety

The new rules at the Natatorium have got me to thinking. Are our children so naughty that they need to be banned? I would say that the real story is probably the few ruined it for the masses. But the kids are not the only ones at fault in this situation, we all are. Most have all taken a back seat to behavior correction and discipline. Especially when it comes to other peoples children.

Hillary Clinton isn’t one of my role models but she did get one thing right years ago. It does take a village to raise a child. It used to be that any adult not only corrected ANY child that misbehaved in their presence, they felt it was their duty. In fact they would question your upbringing as they corrected you. “Were you born in a barn?” “Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?” Kids were afraid to misbehave in front of the neighbor, grocer, librarian, teacher, or just about any adult they had contact with, because they would tell your parents and your parents would, without a doubt side with them. You slowly learned societies rules this way. No matter what the rules were at home. And you didn’t question any of it. If you asked why, “Because I said so” was as good as it got.

For example, my dad frequently read at the kitchen table. Morning paper, newest Stephen King novel or JFK conspiracy book, whatever. So once while on an outing with a friends family, it got kind of boring at lunch so I whipped out my latest Little House on the Prairie paperback and went through a wicked 19th century blizzard with Laura Ingalls-Wilder. I was soon made to realize by my friend’s family that not only was this unacceptable, they also found it offensive. Not only that- when they dropped me off and “told” on me, my dad lectured me in front of them on my rude behavior at lunch. Of course I didn’t say a word about his table reading. I just accepted that these two adults obviously knew society rules and I didn’t. I was ashamed of myself.

I was paddled in second grade. My offense? Running in the hallway. To this day, I cannot run in a hallway. Anywhere. I’ll walk fast, and even take a couple bursts of a jog if no one is around. It obviously made an impact. I’m not (necessarily) advocating paddling, but discipline. It should be on the food pyramid with servings per day requirement. I’ve watched so many parents try to reason and compromise and bribe their children for compliance it makes me want to vomit. Fear of dire consequences builds character. You cannot reason with a 15 year old girl that thinks she’s in love or a 14 year old boy that found a Zippo. Reasoning is for adults that actually have brains that understand other points of view.

I don’t think any of us can deny that there has been a shift in society propriety. Many people see offensive behavior as a constitutional right. Kids today need to be made aware that acceptable behavior at home is not necessarily acceptable public behavior. But that’s where things have changed. We walk away, ignore or ban these kids, instead of being a village. There is no shame because no one is made to feel ashamed of themselves.

Kids don’t understand the business point of view on this Natatorium decision. But I would bet you a donut that if they start seeing other teens being escorted off the property for smoking, rowdiness, etc. you’d see a change in the element of teens attending. The Nat isn’t suffering because teens are there. It’s suffering because it allowed a few bad teens to stand out and be noticed instead of booting them off the property and telling them why. Maybe even they could have suggested that the bootees inform their friends of the acceptable behavior rules at the Nat.

Going to extremes is much easier than a few weeks of cracking down followed up with monitoring. There are not many places for teens to go these days on a Friday or Saturday night. “The Light”, a teen dance held at the Nat gets out of hand because they let it. And because they let it, decent people don’t want to go. Society rules are the same as parenting rules. You need to let kids know that there are behavior expectations and consequences. And in some cases we need to let their parents know too.